Published Work

Let's Outlaw Fluffy Business Cliches

The thing I despise most in business is when people use sophisticated clich? instead of real words to make their actions seem more important or have extended meanings.

I have listed words I believe need to be outlawed for use in business (that is, until the Cubs win the World Series). I have dug into the ePrairie archives to show how these words have been used in the past.

"Sweet Spot"
"The sweet spot will be those situations where not only do we inject cash into the company but we may provide service to the company to help them," said Joel Friedman, a managing partner at Accenture Technology Ventures (3/15/01).

In the 1990s, it seemed like we were all so good at so many things and we had to boast to people about where we were the best. Three years later, unless you are chewing a jelly doughnut in a meeting, this phrase has no place in business.

Why can't people say "this is what we are good at" and then let their successful work with other clients speak for itself?

"Clicks and Mortars" (updated from "Bricks and Clicks")
Stop! These words no longer have meaning. It is no longer interesting to talk about how Chicagoland companies like Grainger and Sears are using the Web.

Every company that has a retail operation and wants to sell on the Web now does. The Web represents an important complementary part of a company's business. Period. I hope I never have to see another business story on this again.

"Domain Expertise"
"Neogration will initially focus our direct sales efforts with its domain expertise at financial institutions and rely on system integrators and other software providers as partners into additional industries," said Michael Qualley, president of Neogration (1/21/02).

Since there are few jobs at many Web-only companies, can we just talk about people's experience? Domains were a fancy word we used to extend our experience to other "kingdoms" or "dominions." Today, we need to be very focused and do it well in order to be successful.

"Let's Take That Offline"
This was the first business lingo I learned when I was at IBM more than 20 years ago. I suggest we just "talk about it later." I can't think of the last time my cell phone or computer was turned off and I was offline when I wasn't sleeping. We are always online.

"Win-Win"
"The seminars are a win-win for us and the technology community," said Charlie Green of digitalEquation (12/15/02).

Let's face it: This is just a myth. Typically, no situation yields a solution in which both sides win equally. This is just a way for the winner to make the loser feel better. Usually, one side wins and one side loses. This is OK in business. Let's just hope you can win the ones that count the most for your business.

"Full Pipeline"
This term was used when companies were flooded with lots of sales prospects. Remember when you could just sit by your phone and prospects would call? I can?t find many people talking about this these days. By the way, what do we call it when there are few sales prospects? An "empty aqueduct?"

"Best of Breed"
In the 1990s, people were always combining different ways to do things for coming up with the best solution to a customer's problem. Unfortunately, this strategy didn't serve Chicago companies like Epigraph well because these solutions were so expensive.

As you know, times are tight. I don't think companies are currently willing to pay for the best. Companies want what is "good enough for now." We should find a way that works and stick with it until the economy improves.

"The Big Picture"
I am tired of seeing the big picture! Let's find a solution that solves a customer?s problem and have him or her pay for it so we can meet payroll. By the way, I think we should all try to "think inside the box" (if we can make a profit doing it).

"Push the Envelope"
" I believe broadband telecommunications has demonstrated that it can push the envelope by addressing technology development on all three fronts at once," said Gregg Kamper, senior vice president and general manager at Glen Allen, Va.-based Dominion Telecom (8/2/02).

Newfangled ways of doing things are expensive. So are paradigm shifts. I suggest we spend less time pushing envelopes and more time licking stamps for contacting prospective customers.

"Smart Money"
Entrepreneurs used to say they only wanted money from people who would help their business. Things are so tight right now that I would take "dumb as rock money" for my business.

There is a great Web lingo generator at Dack.com. The next time you need to "strategize enterprise initiatives" so you can "empower frictionless communities" and "envisioneer out-of-the-box e-markets" to "facilitate extensible users," this tool will come in handy for you.