When not to apologize

My mother always taught me that if you do something wrong, it’s good to apologize. But some people actually say “sorry” too much. This is a problem in business because it makes them seem smaller than they actually are. Unfortunately, this also works against achieving what they want.

Here are five times in business when you should absolutely never apologize:

  1. When you have something to contribute. “I’m sorry, but I disagree…” Remember you are doing your job by giving your point of view. Good decisions are made after many ideas are expressed. Instead start: “This is what I think (and why)…”
  2. When you need help. “I’m sorry to ask for help, but…” Everyone needs assistance to do their job sometime. No one can learn to be good without the help and support of others around them. Instead start: “I could use your help. When would be a good time to talk?”
  3. When a customer owes money. “Sorry to ask, but when will this invoice be paid?”. Your company did the work and should be paid on time. Never apologize for this. Instead start: “Where is my fricking money, deadbeat?” (only kidding!) Really say “The invoice was due on this date. When will it be paid?”
  4. When asking for a decision. “Sorry to bug you, but have you reached a decision yet?” Most customers don’t make a decision until they absolutely have to. If you have put work into a proposal, you deserve a yes or no decision. Instead start: “Did you decide to do
    [A] or [B]?”
  5. When you were on vacation. “Sorry I did not get back to you since I was on vacation.” Getting away to disconnect is a critical part of being successful in business. Invariably, you will miss customer calls, but except in rare cases, they can wait until you return. Instead start: “How can I help now that I am back from vacation?”

What do you apologize for but shouldn’t?