apple-watch-6_1I wanted to love you. I ordered you on the very first day and eagerly awaited your arrival. When you finally came, I went to the Apple Store to make sure we were a perfect match. You were easy to get to know.

There are so many things I loved about you:

I loved using you when buying things with Apple Pay. Just a flick of the wrist and I paid for everything at checkout.

When boarding a flight, I could use you to store my boarding pass. No more fumbling for the phone or a piece of paper. But they still made me put you in my bag like a common smartphone when I went through the scanner. TSA had no respect for you.

I loved pretending to be Dick Tracy and talking on you no matter how impractical it was with your tiny mic and speaker. I did like listening to voice mails without pulling out my “big” phone.

I loved recording text replies instead of typing them. You mostly got it right.

You told me when sunset and sunrise was. Very romantic.

You loved music. I could change the song without pulling out my phone.

You made taking selfies easy with your remote control.

You made it easy to check into Marriott Hotels. My room was always ready. I wanted to stay in hotels where you would unlock my door.

I never lost the remote to my Apple TV since it wall ways right there on you.

You kept my movie tickets safe so I would never lose them.

You kept me abreast of the most important news one sentence at a time. Even on the NY Times.
But all this wasn’t enough for $349. You could not satisfy all my needs:

You were sometimes moody. Not every call or text came through from my phone. Sometimes it would happen and other times not…I could never figure out why you didn’t trust me.

You had no Facebook and a very poor Twitter app so I still needed to pull out my phone to see what was going on.

I rarely met the activity goals you set for me. I don’t like how you kept track of everything I did. I felt “watched” ! But I do like you cared enough to ask me to standup every hour.

I missed the variety. Call me a tramp, but I like wearing different watches every day.

So dear Apple Watch, I am breaking up with you. I know you will need to ask a phone to read this entire note to you. My one line goodbye is:

Thanks for the memories. We will always have Paris.