Incidents and claims of sexual harassment are all over the news. Many people are saying they’re glad they’ve never done anything like this.
But let’s face it guys. Many of us have been unintentional, willing participants in sexual harassment over our years in business.
I don’t mean you have sexually harassed your employees or coworkers. Or refused to promote people who’ve ignored your sexual advances. What I do mean is that you have sat in meetings where sexual harassment has occurred and stayed silent (or worse, laughed at it).
Before you say, “That’s not me”, does this scenario sound familiar?
You have been in an all-male meeting and one person makes a joke about a female coworker’s appearance, breast size, or fantasizes about them in a compromising position. You all laugh together. Think back on how those “all-male” meetings differed from those where women peers were present. Do you now understand what I’m saying?
You may say it was harmless, but it is a form of sexual harassment because it creates a culture of inequality and creates a sexually-charged environment for women.
In some companies where I worked, it was actually worse than what I’ve described above. Male managers only hired attractive women because “if they weren’t successful at their jobs, at least they would have something good to look at.” I have seen male managers competing to have the best-looking women on their business teams. What’s worse, I have heard male bosses giving bonuses based on a women’s physical appearance, rather than her work performance.
Over the years, I must admit I have sometimes remained silent. When I think back on why, it was a way for me, when I was younger, to build male camaraderie with my peers, bosses or customers. I let it go and laughed along with everyone else. I now realize this was wrong. It’s not acceptable to dismiss this as “locker room talk”. Unintentionally, I was helping to create an unequal hostile environment for women in that company.
What needs to be done now:
1. Don’t remain silent. If sexual harassment, whether in word or deed, takes place at any meeting, speak up. Don’t allow this to go unchallenged. Say things like “I am uncomfortable with this type of language about women”. If it continues, show your disapproval by leaving the room.
2. Show respect. Make sure all meetings are respectful, no matter who is present. Certain language should not be used for all-male meetings versus ones with women and men present. Commenting on the physical appearance of women or men at work should never be tolerated.
3. Discuss it now. Have an open discussion with your staff about what is acceptable behavior and what makes people uncomfortable. If possible, have this led by a third-party expert or consultant.
4. Stay public. Be careful of personal interactions in private settings or outside the office with all employees. Don’t put yourself in a situation where anything can be misconstrued.
What have your experiences been working in small businesses, and what would you do now if this came up?
