We spend a lot of our life negotiating things. The person that has the upper hand in any negotiation is the one that controls time.
For example, if you are interested in selling your business, but you have no time constraint, you can get wait for a better price since your not in a rush. If you already bought another house and must sell this one, you will settle for a lower price.
If you are the one trying to divorce your spouse, but they have not urgency to get divorced or leave the house, they win.
Remember, in any of these situations, you can’t control what the other party will do. You can only control the actions you will take.
If you want to have the advantage in any negotiation look to control time. If you want move things along quickly, there must be consequences for the other party not acting. For example, you tell the other party if things are not done by this date, this is what you will do (the consequences like seeking another buyer or going to court, etc)
If you want things to move slowly, then don’t respond, not seeming to care if you lose the deal. If the other side is in a rush, then this will drive them mad and force them into concessions.
One of the biggest pieces of advice that any first time homeowner is given is not to fall in love with a house you want to buy. Always be willing to walk away. This goes with anything in business. When trying to do a deal, it is never imminent. Be willing to walk away and look for another deal with someone else another day.
Every business I have sold or bought has died a thousand deaths before it happened. Control time. Having patience helps too.
Great post. I have coached the Drake Law School negotiations team the last few years. The competition has artificial time constraints, but at least they can act like they are in no hurry.
In addition to controlling time, I would recommend that people “take time.” Don’t rush through negotiation. That is how things are overlooked and misunderstandings happen that can ultimately cause things to unravel.