This post is provided by Jason Dirkham.
It is never easy to work with a difficult boss. Some people really shouldn’t be in leadership or managerial positions because they use them as a way to exert power far too much. It’s always challenging to deal with a manager who purposefully presents difficulties to you in your daily role, but quitting your job may not be the answer for you. Remaining professional handling a challenging work situation is also not the easiest thing to do, but if you manage to do it you can thank yourself later that you have kept your cool and dealt with difficulties with poise.
You can attend workshops, figure out how to manage yourself in difficult situations, and you can even take a TKI test. The more you do this, the more you can learn how to handle conflict in the workplace. Learning how to handle conflict is going to allow you to act professionally in every situation. The key? Knowing yourself. With this in mind, we put together some tips for dealing with a difficult boss who is challenging to work with on a daily basis.
- Work out what their motivations are. Is your boss acting in the way they’re acting because they are stressed? Trying to better understand why your leader may act the way they do can help you to figure out whether they are acting negatively on purpose or if they are reacting to a situation around them. Of course, there is no situation out there that makes it okay to treat you a certain way, but you should think about what they’re motivations may be before you react to their behavior. This is a very mature way to handle a challenging boss, because It can help you to have a more in-depth understanding of their behavior and motivations.
- Take some responsibility. Of course, when you feel targeted by your manager it can be hard to consider that you may also be the problem, but sometimes relationships can be challenging because of both of your behavior. If your boss is having a bad day and is taking it out on you, your reaction to that is not going to be favorable either. Instead of reacting negatively, start assessing your role in the relationship and take responsibility for any challenging behavior you yourself is displaying.
- Be honest but be careful about it. When you’re expressing honesty in your role, you have to consider the words that you use and how they may be perceived by others. It’s important to always be as clear as possible when you are dealing with your boss, because then you can’t say that you weren’t clear. Speak professionally and effectively when you are speaking to management, because this way you can stay results oriented in your conversations. There is nothing wrong with complaining or venting out things that are frustrating you, but if you have a solutions based approach your boss will be able to pick that up easily.
- Empathize. It’s so challenging to empathize with somebody who makes you feel targeted, but if their role is as stressful as yours is, then empathizing with the situation is a good place to begin. They might be going through challenging times personally, as well, so think about that from an outside perspective before you react to anything said to you.
- Speak to your HR department. If you are dealing with a boss who is difficult and making you feel small or singled out, then you need to express this to your human resource department. You as a worker have a right to quiet enjoyment of your role, but if you’re not feeling like you are receiving this enjoyment then you need to speak up about it but do it in a way that’s professional. Your HR department will then be able to put you in a meeting with your boss with a mediator to discuss your issues in a balanced and logical way.
- Have open communication. If there is something that is bothering you or your boss or something in a way that makes you feel upset or small in your role, set up a meeting with your boss and sit down and discuss it. It’s all well and good to feel upset but if you’re not bringing it to the table your boss may not realize that their manner in speaking to you doesn’t make you feel like a productive worker. We all have different expectations and boundaries and that’s okay, but you do need to speak up if something feels wrong.
