Don’t Let the Worst Part of Your Life Define You

worst dayI interviewed Jay Coughlan on my radio show last month about the worst part of his life. He joked about his hard upbringing: “In our neighborhood,” he says, “A few kids were going to Penn State, but even more were going to the state pen.” In high school, Jay says he was combination of a hoodlum and an underachiever. But then, years later, after achieving some significant success, the unthinkable happened. He and his father stayed out one-night drinking went to drive home. They never made it. Jay’s father died in the accident, and Jay was severely injured. To make things worse, when he got out of the hospital, Jay was facing four years in prison for vehicular manslaughter.

In Jay’s book, “Five Bold Choices”, he asks the question:

How can we choose not to be defined by the worst moment of our life?

Along with my successes, I have suffered from my share of setbacks. In May 1995, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I quickly spun out of control into depression and anxiety. At that time, I kept thinking to myself: Is this the way I am now going to define my life?

There have been other failures, bad partnerships, lost big business deals, and lawsuits. When I go through these tough times, it’s the only thing I go to bed thinking about, then dream about it and still wake up again pondering the entire next day. My world just collapses in on itself. This is when it becomes nearly impossible to let go.

But to move forward in our lives and businesses, we must get unstuck. We need to give ourselves a new chance at success. Here is where to start:

Have a pity party and “cheer the darkness”. Feel really sorry for yourself. Don’t cheat on this moment. Really wallow in it so you can get it out of your system!

Let go. Being a victim may feel good, but it does not help long term. You don’t have to stay where you are. Realize there are always choices and options in the future if you are willing to consider different possibilities. You are the only one that can move you forward.

Take action. Determine one small action you can take to move from your current place. It doesn’t have to be significant, just something to take you to a new place.

You don’t have to be your history. You are not what happened to you. While the past can’t be changed, the future still can. Come up of with a new definition how you want to define your life and the contribution that you still want to make.

How have you not let the worst thing in your life define you?

 

By | 2017-05-22T06:16:12+00:00 March 15th, 2017|Personality on the Side|4 Comments

About the Author:

Barry Moltz gets business owners unstuck by unlocking their long forgotten potential. With decades of entrepreneurial experience in his own business ventures, he has discovered the formula to get stuck business owners and increasing their sales. Barry has founded and run small businesses with a great deal of success and failure for more than 20 years. After successfully selling his last operating business, Barry founded an angel investor group, an angel fund, and is a former advisory member of the board of the Angel Capital Education Foundation. His first book, “You Need to Be A Little Crazy: The Truth about Starting and Growing Your Business” describes the ups and downs and emotional trials of running a business. His second book, “Bounce! Failure, Resiliency and the Confidence to Achieve Your Next Great Success”, shows what it takes to come back and develop true business confidence. His third book, “BAM! Delivering Customer Service in a Self-Service World” shows how customer service is the new marketing. His fourth book, “Small Town Rules: How Small Business and Big Brands can Profit in a Connected Economy” shows how when every customer can talk to every other customer, it’s like living in a small town: Your reputation is everything! His fifth book, “How to Get Unstuck: 25 Ways to Get Your Business Growing Again” helps every small business owners move their company to the next level. Barry is a nationally recognized speaker on small business who has given hundreds of presentations to audiences ranging in size from 20 to 20,000. As a member of the Entrepreneurship Hall of Fame, he has appeared on many TV and radio programs such as CNBC’s The Big Idea, and MSNBC’s Your Business. He hosts his own radio show on AM560, and writes for American Express and Forbes.

4 Comments

  1. Debbie Iancu March 22, 2017 at 3:16 pm

    thanks so much for this post. I just had to cancel a really big business event that i had planned to launch my book and felt just awful about it. I finally pulled the plug on it yesterday and boy did i have a pity party. So this really hit the nail on the head for me. I’m feeling a bit better now and already thinking of my next step, how to rethink and reboot this event and get it right this time. Thanks for writing just what i needed to read.

    • Barry March 27, 2017 at 12:02 pm

      You go!!!

  2. Jennifer Bauldic March 27, 2017 at 11:53 am

    Failure is our best teacher so thank you for the reminder that we need to accept it and then extract the learnings in order to create the next success.

    • Barry March 27, 2017 at 12:02 pm

      Thanks for the comment. I think failure can sometimes teach us something now, but the most important part is not let it define you and keep you stuck!

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