Fortunately, I don’t get a lot of hate mail. But I have come to expect it over the last 20 years when anyone puts themselves out there with a point of view and tries to help other people. I recently got this email from someone on my list after asking them for their feedback on a resource I suggested:
This is interesting for a couple of reasons. First, when checking with my email tool, I find this person has consistently opened my emails for the last few months. They have not unsubscribed. Secondly, why reply if you always delete them (except to be hurtful)? Finally, they use one of my signature phrases “seeking minimal achievement” so I guess they are learning something from me after all (or they are making further fun of me!).
Over the years, when I get hate mail or mean spirited social media posts, my first response is always shock and disappointment. I immediately ask did I do something wrong?
But after I get that knee jerk reaction out of the way, I realize that hate mail is not really about me. It’s about the sender. I just happen to be today’s target of something that has gone very wrong in their life.
For whatever reason, I touched something deep inside of themselves that they do not like. To relieve that pain, they strike out at me. I have stopped taking it personally because it’s not about me. It’s about them.
I have learned that we can only help those that want to be helped. That leaves little time to help people that send hate mail.
How would you respond to this email? Mostly, I don’t respond since engaging them rarely is beneficial to anyone. In this case, I apologized for them not finding interest in what I was saying and took them off my list so they never hear from me again.
Do you get hate mail? How do you respond (if at all)?
