When I was at our annual karate celebration this past week, the leader of our school proclaimed that “feedback is a gift”.

In this fast moving world, there are many times we are too busy to give any feedback. Forget about the honest and thoughtful kind that many of us crave (“if we can handle the truth” to paraphrase Jack Nicholson in “A Few Good Men”). There are so many times that the only response we get is no response. We all have experienced how personally hurtful this can get. Feedback in business is a gift.

I pride myself that I return every phone call or non spam email I receive. It may not be a very detailed response, but it is an acknowledgement or a simple reply. It’s feedback.  It’s not that I’m polite. It’s a result of years of not having so many sales calls returned that has humbled me. It makes me realize the effect unreturned call or emails have on someone I know.

Why doesn’t everyone in business return their phone calls or emails? I don’t mean the cold call you get from someone you don’t know. Those are optional in my mind. You don’t owe those people anything and you may be too busy for that. I am talking about returning calls from people you have talked to many times before on the phone or by email. I am talking about the people you have met with or maybe even done business. I mean people who know you!

It never ceases to amaze me when someone I have a business relationship with stops returning my phone calls. It simply baffles me. I know after a few weeks of unreturned phone calls that the answer is “no” to whatever it is I want to talk about or the person no longer values our relationship. I have come to realize that many people who don’t return phone calls simply don’t have the courage to say no or they are in such a bad place themselves they do not know what to say. Most people don’t want to deal with it. They would rather avoid the subject and ignore it. A “no”, though, is as important feedback since it allows the person to move on and close the door on the issue at hand. Other times, people say they don’t call back because they do not have an answer to the question you are calling about so they think a call back isn’t needed at this time. Wrong! Why not call back and say: “Sorry. I have no news. Call me in a week.”?

Secretly, I yearn for them to call me on my voice mail in the middle of the night when my cell phone is off and yell: “Barry, you screwed it up. Don’t ever call me again you moron.” That message I get, understand and respect. This feedback too is a gift.

Maybe technology has created too many contact points for all of us. Maybe our expectations are too high with all the possible instant communication methods.

Why should you return every phone call or e-mail you get from people with whom you have a relationship? Besides it being a “basic human courtesy,” it’s also very pragmatic. All of our careers rise and fall with the economic times. You meet the same people on the way up as you meet on the way down. In other words, today you need something from me and tomorrow I need something from you. If I never returned your phone call when you needed me, what do you think will happen when the roles are reversed? Communication and feedback of any type builds relationship capital that is needed for business success.
Now stop reading this and return that last phone call.